I hate that I hate this.

Decidedly, Facebook sucks when it comes to relationships. It just does. I hate that something as silly as Facebook bothers me, but there's NOTHING good about Facebook and relationships. The reason for this mini-rant is that today one of my best friends wrote on an ex of mine's wall. Granted, she doesn't have a reason to dislike him other than that I do, but he was kind of a shit to me — so she should.

She apologized soon after. But friends and loyalty is a whole separate issue (note: be loyal. Men tend to do this better than women when it comes to friends. And women do it better than men when it comes to relationships. Terrible dichotomy.)

But seriously, Facebook relationships SUCK. We're all so technologically evolved that we have to actually have a Facebook relationship discussion now, which is bizarre, and to me, Facebook relationships are a serious. It's a worldwide, public declaration that you are TAKEN. But if you don't enter one with your gf/bf, they wonder why. What are you ashamed of? What are you HIDING?

Then you break up, and the whole world knows. And your ex comes up in your news feed, seemingly more than he or she ever did before. It's an annoying, constant reminder of the failed relationship. Plus, you have to keep yourself from the temptation of looking at his/her profile. Have they moved on yet? Are there any new flirty photos of them? Are they in another relationship?

And of course, you can't remove them as a friend. That looks immature.

So, bottom line — Facebook relationships have no benefits. As a rule, I don't enter them. Choose your own cyberpath wisely.

Would you date yourself?

Just think about the question. The answer might spark some personal growth.

The playing field

I feel like women are always complaining about how there are no good guys out there, or the good ones are already taken. Blah blah blah. Maybe, lady, the problem is where you're looking.

We've got to be honest with ourselves, people. What league are you playing ball in? If you aren't super hot, you won't get a super hot guy. If you aren't educated, an educated guy won't want to date you long-term.

It's called a level playing field. People are in relationships with other people on their levels. Accept this, evaluate yourself, and find someone who's right for you.

It doesn't help to date someone not on your level - this will only create insecurities and jealousy. So be honest about who you are, improve yourself if you want to, and play ball.

Lady Independent Celebrity Spotlight

Ne-Yo is a man's man. He does independent women proud. Take, for example, his song, "Ms. Independent": "She's got her own thing, that's why I love her." Well, we love you too, Ne-Yo. He has proven time and time again that songs can be catchy, dance-able and mega-hits without graphic lyrics about screwing women. So thank you, Ne-Yo - you deserve the spotlight.

Cut off contact

My friend's boyfriend of three years, who she planned to marry, just broke up with her. When we were out the other night, she drunk dialed him, crying and telling him she still loved him and missed him. I was driving us home, but I prioritized. I let go of the wheel, turned, took her phone out of her hands and hung up. She wasn't happy then (Direct quote: "That...that wasn't even him! You don't know me!"), but she was grateful in the morning.

Bottom line, the best thing to do with a recent ex is cut off contact. If you keep talking to this person, feelings will linger, mistakes will be made, and someone will get hurt. So start the silent treatment.

TUI: Texting Under the Influence.

Drunk texting. We've all done it. Don't do it.

Don't let your friends do it.

Nothing good comes out of it. Ever.

It is a perpetuation of mind games, a struggle for power - and the drunk texter will always end up looking pathetic and regret the decision later. At worst, they will end up hooking up with someone they don't want to.

There is no exception to this rule.

Friends don't let friends TUI.

"She was crazy."

I was talking to a guy friend of mine last night about how his recent break-up. When I asked him what went wrong, he said "She was crazy." I called him out. "Really? Was she? Because I'm pretty sure all guys say that about their ex-girlfriends."

Later that night my friend called me up and actually thanked me for calling him out. He said I was right - she wasn't crazy, and he didn't have a right to say she was.

So, women of the world - here is my message. All guys call their exes crazy. I've heard this a million times. It's their way of summing up a failed relationship - most likely because they don't really understand what went wrong. So, please - be skeptical of what dudes dish out. Because odds are, somewhere out there, some guy is calling you crazy.

John Mayer - Get over it, People.

Here's my weigh-in on the John Mayer's latest debacle. Yes, he called Jessica Simpson "sexual napalm" and said he'd pay to have sex with her. Yes, it's kind of offensive. But, let's be honest — there was probably a part of Jessica that was flattered. And more importantly, let's learn something from this: the actions of your exes are OUT OF YOUR CONTROL. You can not control what other people say about you, and you can't get mad about it or you look insane. So, today I say "Well done, Jessica Simpson!" She has been one of the few people to say nothing about the Mayer incident, even though she's at the center of it. And this makes her look good. Don't comment. Act like you don't care, because apathy is a much more powerful tool than anger.

Anti-Independent of the Day

Cosmopolitan (also known as: 100 New Tricks to Try in Bed, How To Make Him Notice You, Get Sex Hair Without the Sex) magazine has a "body language decoder" for guys. You click a tab, and they tell you what a guy means based on everything from whether he offers you his palm face up to what it means if he sleeps on his stomach.

So, according to Cosmo, all you have to do is observe your guy while he sleeps. Then "you'll discover tons of clues about his personality and how he feels about you."

Ladies, do not be a total psycho who is watching her boyfriend sleep. Do not question his affection for you if he angles his body towards the North when you're at the movies. I'm not saying there's nothing to body language, but if you're a normal, social human being you respond subconsciously to the body language of others.

It's this kind of over-analysis that lowers our self-esteem and makes us question everything in our relationships. Spend time being in your relationship, not analyzing it.

Anne Hathaway = Ridiculous But Right

In the latest issue of InStyle, People reports, Anne Hathaway says, "I’m not very pretty. But that’s OK because I do know that I look like myself, and I think at the end of the day, as nice as pretty is, authenticity is more important."

OK Anne, I call BS on the "I'm not pretty" thing. I'm so sick of actresses saying this. You know you're pretty. But on that note, lots of actresses, as famous and gorgeous as they are, have low self-esteem. So don't feel bad if you question your looks every so often — we all do.

But, Anne does have a point with that second sentence. Authenticity IS more important. No matter how pretty a woman is, one day she will be old and wrinkled. Looks will go. Your personality is all that will stay with you and make you unique — so develop it and cherish it. So, Anne Hathaway is full of it, but not really.

Photo courtesy of InStyle

Texts: The Dangers of Over Man-alysis

Last night a friend of mine read to me, out loud, a 20-text conversation between her and her on-again, off-again boyfriend. At first I partook in the analysis — did "it was good to see you" mean he was interested again?! What about the fact that he had taken a whole 26 minutes (exactly) to respond to one of her texts?!? Finally, I stopped us both.

This is my realization: if you're in a relationship where you're analyzing everything from a guy's emoticon use to his text response time, wake up and realize two things.

1) This guy has WAY too much power over you. Why are you spending half an hour dissecting the undertones of "Yeah, I'm not sure"? And don't lie to yourself. We've all done this. Get out now or you'll make decisions even more unhealthy than pouring over his every "lol."

2) This guy is not working hard enough for you, so he doesn't care. If he did, things would be clearer. He WOULD text you back right away. In fact, he'd be the one analyzing YOUR texts. If the dude responds with two-word answers, if he's not reciprocating in witty repertoire, hear me loud and clear: He does not like you. And that means he's not worth your precious time.

My friend is not some weird, obsessive girl. She's smart, accomplished and a leader. But she fell prey to a vicious cycle — it's easy to get sucked into power struggles in these on-again, off-again things.

Bottom line: if you have to analyze the relationship (and the texts are a metaphor here) too much, things aren't right. At a certain point, relationships either work or they don't.

Note: The only time I allow text message analysis is in the first week of dating. That's when things are fun and silly and giddy. Indulge.