Last night a friend of mine read to me, out loud, a 20-text conversation between her and her on-again, off-again boyfriend. At first I partook in the analysis — did "it was good to see you" mean he was interested again?! What about the fact that he had taken a whole 26 minutes (exactly) to respond to one of her texts?!? Finally, I stopped us both.
This is my realization: if you're in a relationship where you're analyzing everything from a guy's emoticon use to his text response time, wake up and realize two things.
1) This guy has WAY too much power over you. Why are you spending half an hour dissecting the undertones of "Yeah, I'm not sure"? And don't lie to yourself. We've all done this. Get out now or you'll make decisions even more unhealthy than pouring over his every "lol."
2) This guy is not working hard enough for you, so he doesn't care. If he did, things would be clearer. He WOULD text you back right away. In fact, he'd be the one analyzing YOUR texts. If the dude responds with two-word answers, if he's not reciprocating in witty repertoire, hear me loud and clear: He does not like you. And that means he's not worth your precious time.
My friend is not some weird, obsessive girl. She's smart, accomplished and a leader. But she fell prey to a vicious cycle — it's easy to get sucked into power struggles in these on-again, off-again things.
Bottom line: if you have to analyze the relationship (and the texts are a metaphor here) too much, things aren't right. At a certain point, relationships either work or they don't.
Note: The only time I allow text message analysis is in the first week of dating. That's when things are fun and silly and giddy. Indulge.
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